Once Upon A Time

Once upon a time, there were a boy and a girl. They lived together, in a small house in the woods, for their parents had both passed away. The boy and the girl, who were brother and sister, only had eachother. When they went out to pick berries, they went together. When they wanted to make a fire - the winters were very cold at that time - they did it together. And when the fire got them both warmed up, the girl told the boy stories. Stories about the life outside the woods, where men go to work and women cook dinner. The the girl could talk for hours about what it would be like to have a family. But they would never experience having one.The only family-like creature in the house, was their cat, Peace.

The girl was called Fortune, the boy was called Envy. 

Fortune and Envy needed eachother, because they both had an handicap. Envy was incapable of speaking. Fortune was deaf.  Their communication was complex to understand for outsiders. When Fortune said something, Envy understood that, but he couldn't react to what Fortune was saying. This was very frustrating for Envy, but he knew he needed Fortune really badly to survive in the woods.
Fortune's voice was like one of a nightingale. When she spoke, her voice was so clear and serene, Envy loved it. Sometimes, when Fortune was in a good mood, she sang him a song. She sang about the animals in the woods, and the free birds in the sky. Than Peace fell asleep on her lap, loudly purring. And Envy laid his head on her shoulder.

As Fortune grew up, she started singing more often. She couldn't hear her own voice, but when she looked at Envy's face, she knew he liked it. Fortune sang when she woke up. Fortune sang when she was in the shower. Fortune sang during dinner. Fortune sang when she went to bed. Envy couldn't sing, nor talk. Sometimes he wanted Fortune to shut up, because he couldn't hear his own thoughts. Envy couldn't tell that to Fortune. And even if he could, he probably wouldn't have done it, as he cared for his sister so much. But sometimes he wished that the could sing as well.

Fortune sang for almost two years, when suddenly she stopped. With a good reason. Peace was gone. The cat, who'd been with Envy and Fortune for a very long time, was gone. Fortune became quiet, and that pleased Envy. The next morning they decided to look for Peace in the woods. Fortune and Envy walked by the river, the bushes with berries and the maple trees. Nowhere a sign of Peace. When they were approaching the darkest part of the forest, where neither of them had ever been before, Fortune wanted to go back. But Envy, determined to return Peace to Fortune, wanted to move on. He couldn't explain this to Fortune, so without a glance back, he ran into the dark part of the forest. Fortune was devastated. Did her younger brother, who was always afraid of everything - and who never went anywhere without his big sister- go into the woods by himself? Fortune smiled, went home, and prayed for a save return of Envy and Peace.
But by twilight, Envy still hadn't returned.

Envy was wandering through the dark woods all alone. He was scared, of course, but he would sacrifice everything to find Peace. After four hours of walking, Envy was exhausted. He sat down on a tree branch, the wind was blowing hard and Envy was cold. he was considering going home, when he suddenly heard a weak meowing. Envy tried to call Peace's name, but that was impossible of course. He saw Peace's tail, picked her up and smiled. While walking home with the cat, he realised how terrible his handicap was. He wanted to sing and talk and scream and whisper, just like Fortune did. Anger grew inside of him. Why was everything so unfair? Why wasn't he the one born deaf - like Fortune- instead of speechless? He thought of the quietness that had fallen over their house when Fortune found out that Peace was missing. He wanted Fortune to remain silent, so he wouldn't be confronted with his own disability. Perhaps... Without a sense of shame, Envy pulled his knife and he cut through Peace's throat. Peace didn't make a sound.

Envy laid Peace on the ground, and covered her with some leafs. Peace's blood was the brightest red he had  ever seen. On one hand he felt like crying, but on the other hand he knew this was the best solution.

Late at night, when envy returned home, Fortune understood that he had not found Peace. Fortune started crying, and didn't stop. Envy had pity on Fortune, but for the first time he slept well, because Fortune did not sing anymore.

The next morning Fortune was gone. Envy feared for what he would find, when he went to the spot where he ended Peace's life. What he saw, was a stiff and cold woman's body, that would never sing again. In her arms she held a sleeping cat.

Written by me.

silverweed.



The Sunset

"The Sunset" by Adam Gallagher on Lookbook.nu

This guy is so extremely handsome. Do I need to say more?

I Promise You

Don't ask don't tell

I'll bite my tongue

I know it's sad but

we're still young.

Wounds become scars

and under silver stars

I promise you, darling

to never say a thing.

Starry Eyed

I've been quite ill for the last couple of days. Coughing, fever, sneezing, all part of the deal...

Yesterday evening I had to go to my weekly voice training lessons. I felt terrible and I practically didn't have a voice at all, so there was nothing to train about. I would meet my trainer at the info desk at a cultural centre near my house. We would see eachother at 19.15. So I waited at the info desk. In the entrance-hall there was beautiful piano music being played. At first I thought It was a CD, but the tones were so clear, it had to be a live act. My trainer was running very late, so I decided to take a look at the instigator of this lovely music. The pianist was a guy, I guess twenty years old, and I could only see his back. The music switched from classical to funky jazz. The way he was playing the piano was very fascinating. He was wholly absorbed in his work. I thought by myself, that the guy looked really handsome from the back, and I was curious what his face would look like. All of a sudden he stopped playing. He stood up and looked right at me. I felt like my judgement of human nature let me down. For no reason at all, I thought that a creature that could produce such a wonderful music, had to be very attractive. Instead of that, the pianist had the scariest eyes in the world. And that's an understatement. His pupils were huge and the edges of his eyelids were red, just like an animal. I was frightened, only because of the way he was staring at me. I thought he was on some kind of drugs perhaps, but because of the setting, that seemed unlikely to me. He just ripped me apart with his eyes, and I could already see the headlines in the paper: 'Girl (18) raped and brutally murdered by guy with weird eyes'...

At that moment, the female receptionist calls my name, eventhough I've never seen her before. In her hands she's got a phone, and she tells my it's my trainer calling. My trainer tells me she's ill as well, and she's not able to make it tonight. I was relieved. Now I could just go home and sleep. When I looked up, the guy was playing jazz again. I passed by him, on my way to the exit, and when I glanced at him once more, he winked at me. A weird wink, like he knew I didn't wanted to be there.

Maybe I am overreacting,  but that guy just had some strange vibes.

Always trust your instincts.



Biotherm Aquatrio

Tonight I'll  try out Aquatrio by Biotherm. It's a skin cleaning package that I've never used before. I got it as a present, but I'm not really into all those cleansers and lotions and creams and mousses. The package contains three pieces: a 'nourishing and purifying mousse', a 'preparing and smoothing lotion' and a 'hydrating cream which contains 5000 liters of thermal water... (?!)'. That is promising, I'm starting to get curious.

My skin in general: My skin is really soft, but very dry. When I take a hot shower, my skin gets red and itchy if I don't apply some hydrating cream immediately. My skin is also very sensitive and I can get a rash when I get soap (as in soap for your hands) on my face. Especially in the fall/winter this is extremely common. But I don't have a lot of spots or imperfections, and therefore I consider myself blessed.

The mousse: You have to apply the mousse on a wet skin with a lot of water, and it starts foaming. The mousse smells like soap, so I'll might regret this later... but everything for beauty science. The mousse is (indeed) very soft and it is really easy appliable. But it smells terrible and it is hard to remove with water.

The lotion: Next up is the lotion. The description tells us to apply the lotion with a cotton. This goes really smoothly and the lotion smells a lot better. The lotion is transparent. Still, my skin is stretching and thirsty for some relieve.

The cream: Finally, the cream. The cream is very soft and smells okay. My skin tingles when I apply the cream with my finger tips. The cream is very relieving after the harsh mousse and lotion. After a few minutes, the tingling stops, and my skin feels flat and smooth.

Biotherm Aquatrio Result: 8

Love and Peace

silverweed.

On My Knees Baby

Right now, I am annoyed. With everything. I am bitching on my mother, don't feel like doing anything at all and I am really tired. 99% PMS. But I got a B+ for my geography test. Yeeeaaaaah.

That makes my irritations a bit bearable. Still I don't understand why the heck I feel like this. My life is easy. No big decisions to make, no interesting stories to tell.

And I want a boyfriend.

I've been single for the last few ages, and now, approaching 2012, I realise this has to come to an end. I am not ugly, not stupid, not dull but still not beloved. How's that possible?? I may sound a bit arrogant here, but I need to know why guys are not interested in me. I'm not blonde, I don't have killer boobs or legs to my neck and I don't have doll eyes. But why oh why are the only guys interested in me covered with acne or already with a girl (see my other post: 'Triangle Love')?

Is it true that ugly girls fall in love really often? Then I must be really ugly...

Or is it true that pretty girls stay single a really long time, because they have high standards?

I. Don't. Know.

Confused by Thoughts

“I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”

Just to give an indication of how I' m feeling right now.

silverweed.



Let Me Wake You Up

Let me wake you up

In your bed, still warm with dreams

Let me wake you up

For not everything is what it seems

Let me wake you up

Eventhough you're very sleepy
Let me wake you up
Now welcome into reality


All my love, silverweed.

Triangle Love

There is this boy. Not just a boy, but my best friends boyfriend. They have been together for almost three years, and, he's flirting with me. I've got a weak spot for dark boys, and he is definitely the sweetest milk chocolate I've ever seen. He's flirting with a lot of girls obviously (who wouldn't after being with the same girl for like ever), but I just know he thinks I'm hot. He has literally said that to me when he was drunk a few weeks ago. He likes my ass. Aww, that sounds really perverse, but he said it in a sexy way. Of course I am very, very careful. My friend would kill me if she found out. Well, we've never kissed or done anything like that, and I am not into him. I like the attention, though. Everyone notices the sexual tension between us. Even his friends who are not that close to him, ask me if I am his girlfriend. When we go to a club with some friends, he likes to dance with me. So when his girlfriend goes to the bathroom, he secretly starts touching me. And I enjoy it. This is not normal, am I right? He has been doing this for over the past few months, but it is increasing. I'm afraid that maybe, when we're both wasted/high/turned on/whatever, we might sleep with each other. Or go further than what's acceptable. Sometimes I'm bitching at him, for fun, when he's with his girlfriend. Not because I don't want him to be with her, but because I don't want my friend to get suspicious. I know they love eachother to death and he would never ever cheat on her. Still, I'm cautious. You never know...

Silverweed

Flying High

On Friday I wanted to bake a spacecake with some friends. And so we did. I had classes 'till 17.oo, but after that we went to the shop to get the green grass. We bought a cake mix and then we headed for my home. My mom, stepdad and younger brother were at home, but they were already aware of our plans. My mom used to do a lot of drugs herself when whe was my age, so we could just do as we pleased. My friends (six in total) made ourselves spaghetti with sauce, and then we baked the cake of magic. It was easier than we thought it would be. Despite of that, we burnt the cake. It was really not my fault, but it was still eatable. We all took one slice. Then we had to wait for almost one hour. Suddenly the weed kicked in. I started giggling, like always, and I couldn't talk properly. My leg started shivering. I couldn't stop it and it felt really weird. I am an experienced user, but I have never had a bad trip. This really started to look like one, though. The shivering crept up to my heart. I felt my heart in every single part of my body. not only in my arms, my legs and my stomach, but also in my neck and my chin. This is by far the strangest experience ever. I thought I was having a panic attack but I also realised everything took place inside my head. I wasn't really feeling my heart of 200bpm in my chin? I was hallucinating. My friends though I was going bad, but all I wanted was to lie down for a sec. In my imagination, my theeth chattered but in reality they weren't (according to my friends). My muscles were tightening all the time. Very annoying. At 00.30, almost 2,5 hours after eating the first piece, I decided to go to bed. I wanted to sleep so badly. Now, the next morning, I still feel weird. Hopefully this stops in a few hours. Or days. Or weeks...

Interested in Drama

On Thursday, I went out for dinner with my stepmom. She's a lovely woman, but lately she broke up with my father, with whom she's been for almost 15 years. I don't judge her for that, though it's very pitiful for my father. To remain contact, I see my stepmom once a month. We usually go to a play together, because she's just as interested in theatre as I am.

We went to Manna, a fancy restaurant with delicious meals. When I see my stepmom we always talk about my father. He's very lonely these days, and my stepmom feels bad for him so she wanted to know how he's doing. We sat at Manna's for almost three hours. Then we went to the theatre for a play, based on Freule Julie by Swedish author August Strindberg. I really enjoyed myself.

Afterwards, me and my friends went to a party. I decided not to drink too much, because I had to go to school the next morning. But of course I couldn't control myself and I ended up being rather tipsy. A friend of my kissed two different boys that evening, at least, she says so. A lot of my friends have trouble believing the things she says. So do I. She is insecure, and because of that she lies quite often. But if it is the truth, I hope those boys gave her the confidence she needed.

The next morning I was H-U-N-G-O-V-E-R. I'd have only 3 hours of sleep and almost 2 bottles of wine, By myself. And that was noticeable...

Lots of Love,

Silverweed